Even though he was married to his first wife between the ages of 20 and 47, and to his second wife between the ages of 47 and 61.
If he started at 16, and continued at a consistent pace until his death at the age of 86, that’s a rate of 142.8 women a year. Legend has it that – as well as writing almost 500 novels – Simenon slept with as many as 10,000 women. Then again, such activity is positively monk-like next to the record set by the Belgian crime novelist and creator of Maigret, Georges Simenon. Even though he was married the entire time. In 2017 a book alleged that, between 19, the king slept with 2,154 women – which is roughly a new lover every three days. This is far from the first time that eye-popping claims have been made about Juan Carlos’s appetites. Surely some must have feared that pumping the king with female hormones would simply cause him to sleep with thousands of men instead. Imagine the meeting where the secret service discussed the plan. It would knock The King’s Speech into a cocked hat. Whether the story is true, I couldn’t possibly say, but I certainly hope so. Apparently it was “considered a problem of state” that the king “was so horny”. At a parliamentary hearing, a former police chief has claimed that Juan Carlos – who abdicated as the king of Spain in 2014 – was injected with “female hormones” by secret service agents, in a desperate attempt to stop him sleeping with so many thousands of women. “Well, officer, he does have an awful lot of children.” A king among women
This must be the 200th time I’ve heard that today.” “Off to provide childcare to the Prime Minister? Pull the other one, madam. Mind you, if too many people use that line, it may end up testing the officer’s credulity. If the officer still refuses to budge, the member of the public will specify that they’re off to provide childcare to the Prime Minister. If their car is stopped by a policeman en route to a friend’s house, those with children will simply say, “Let me through, officer – I’m off to get childcare.” Those without children, meanwhile, will say, “Let me through, officer – I’m off to provide childcare.” Because, after the revelations about what went on in Downing Street last Christmas, they now have the perfect excuse. People would ignore the ban, and carry on visiting as many of their friends as they like. This, reportedly, is the Government’s “Plan C”, to be implemented if “Plan B” (the return of mandatory mask-wearing and working from home) fails.įrankly, though, I fear that Plan C would be doomed to fail. Should the Covid numbers keep worsening, ministers may decide to ban members of the public from visiting each other’s houses again. Let us have warnings about the dangers of a sedentary lifestyle printed on our sofas, the dangers of heart attacks printed on our running gear, and the dangers of being mugged printed on the inside of our front doors. All cars, meanwhile, should have “SPEEDING KILLS” written on the steering wheel, “CROSSING AT A RED LIGHT KILLS” on the bonnet, and “EXHAUST FUMES KILL” on the boot.Ĭritics will try to claim that such warnings are both patronising and unnecessary, but in my view one cannot be too careful. I suggest a law that requires contestants on the Great British Bake Off to ice every cake with the phrase “CHOLESTEROL KILLS”. Let us hope that, in due course, they expand their campaign into other areas. So, if anything, the plan risks making cigarettes seem more attractive to the young, rather than less.Īll the same, I feel sure that every right-thinking person will applaud MPs in their efforts to raise awareness of this hitherto little-known threat to public health.
According to Urban Dictionary, a website that tracks the latest developments in youth slang, “smokin” is an adjective that describes “a girl or guy who is beyond hot”. And after another puff, the message would read “SMOKIN”, which sounds dangerously like a term of approval. After a few puffs the message along the side of the cigarette would simply read “SMOKING”, which is not a warning but a statement of fact. After all, the prospective smoker could easily fail to notice the exact same warning that is already printed in enormous letters on all sides of the packet, along with the images of blackened lungs, clogged arteries, rotten teeth, gangrenous feet, cancerous throats, small children on hospital ventilators and so on.Īdmittedly there may be one small potential flaw in the MPs’ plan. Libertarians will inevitably object, but I for one think it sounds like a valuable precaution. A group of them are demanding that the words “SMOKING KILLS” be printed along the side of every cigarette sold in Britain. MPs have opened up a new front in their tireless campaign to protect the public from itself.
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